Just got back from my weekly Dr. visit and I am officially full term today! Feel so relieved. I am still taking my Terbutaline medication that stops my contractions though. My doctor says he wants me to be well into my 37th week before anything major happens. Once I stop taking it in a few days, my contractions will increase and my cervix will start to dilate some. So who knows how long it'll be now...hopefully not too long!
Ive decided to be still. Meaning im tired of arguments and being angry. Im tired of being called names and being wrong about everything and anything. And because I do not have the means to step out of my situation just yet im going to be still...pleasant and non confrontational, ive decided not to bring up the lonely days or how leftout, used and mistreated I feel. Ive decided to save my energy for my Dday.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
~Stressed~
I cant imagine going into detail about whats bugging me because EVERYTHING is bugging me. But I must say that I feel almost completely alone. I have my baby, God and my bestfriend. Its enough for me..I just expected more from people I give my love and support to. I can be the BIGGEST cheerleader for others. And they can completely miss my championship game.
I love everyone in my life. Im concerned and available for whoever needs me to be. If it is within my power and reach to help, save and always to care, than I do! My family has never really been supportive of my decisions whatever they may be. I got no support when I tried to go to a four year university, and no support picking up the pieces and going to community college when I could no longer afford a larger tution by myself. No one cared that I was doing the right things with my life. But it really amazes me and how involved everyone's opinions are, now that I've made a few wrong choices.
I have no intention of staying in the place I am. Dependant, angry, sad, depressed, and a slew of other things. This is my hard time in life..and all anyone seems to want to do is tell me about it. Tell me about what Im not doing, what I could be doing, ect.
Im not sure what I will have to say to the people in my life that are hurting me when I get back on my feet. I just hope its GOD that has a hold on my tongue.
I love everyone in my life. Im concerned and available for whoever needs me to be. If it is within my power and reach to help, save and always to care, than I do! My family has never really been supportive of my decisions whatever they may be. I got no support when I tried to go to a four year university, and no support picking up the pieces and going to community college when I could no longer afford a larger tution by myself. No one cared that I was doing the right things with my life. But it really amazes me and how involved everyone's opinions are, now that I've made a few wrong choices.
I have no intention of staying in the place I am. Dependant, angry, sad, depressed, and a slew of other things. This is my hard time in life..and all anyone seems to want to do is tell me about it. Tell me about what Im not doing, what I could be doing, ect.
Im not sure what I will have to say to the people in my life that are hurting me when I get back on my feet. I just hope its GOD that has a hold on my tongue.
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Confident Woman...
Im reading this book by Joyce Meyer, and im learning that I like her alot. There is alot of wisdom in this book that is proving to be very useful to me. What I like most about the book is that its from a standpoint of where you are as the reader, and its guidance is loving, direct and not overbearing. I asked my dad to buy me the book a few years ago when I was still in highschool sometime but never got around to reading it..I guess GOD knew at which point in my life I would be most receptable to it.
It's little things like this book that gives me my faith in Christ. The simple fact that God sent it to me at a time when he knew I wouldnt read it...and saved it for a time when I would. There hasnt been a time in my life that Ive needed this book more than now. Im 21 years old and 8 months pregnant with my first child. I am faced with the task of having to raise a son and teach him to be a man. Although this is a journey I am looking forward to, I know that I will need many things to accomplish this. One of those things is confidence. I believe that in order to raise a person properly, you must first have yourself in order. Mistakes will be made and decisions will be second guessed but you have to be mentally and spiritually prepared.
It's little things like this book that gives me my faith in Christ. The simple fact that God sent it to me at a time when he knew I wouldnt read it...and saved it for a time when I would. There hasnt been a time in my life that Ive needed this book more than now. Im 21 years old and 8 months pregnant with my first child. I am faced with the task of having to raise a son and teach him to be a man. Although this is a journey I am looking forward to, I know that I will need many things to accomplish this. One of those things is confidence. I believe that in order to raise a person properly, you must first have yourself in order. Mistakes will be made and decisions will be second guessed but you have to be mentally and spiritually prepared.
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